Active listening is much more effective than being a passive listener. Both the recipient and the giver of the message are involved. In order to learn to listen effectively, it is necessary to talk about the communication process between two people. One of the common mistakes people make while communicating is that the sender gives the message, the receiver gets it wrong, but neither side is aware that it is wrong. In his book “Effective Parent Education”, Dr. Thomas Gordon shares examples of listening in communication such as:
Examples:
Child: “This year I have a very intolerant teacher, I don’t like him at all.”
Parent: “You have trouble with your teacher.”
Child: “Yes. Right.”
***
Child: “Mom, guess what happened? I will join auditions this year. “
Mother: “You must have been very happy for that.”
Child: “Absolutely.”
***
Child: “I don’t want to go to school today.”
Parent: “You don’t seem to feel well today.”
Child: “Yes, it is.”
As seen in these examples, listening to the child and reflecting on his feelings makes the other person feel understood. Dr. Thomas Gordon: “Although reacting in this way may seem stilted to parents at first, with active listening it is universal when one listens to the other person’s thoughts and the other one listens to their opinions. If the parent is willing to receive the message given by the children first, and if they listen, the children will also be willing to listen to the family and receive the message. If the parent says that their child is not listening to them, they must look themselves first. ” In this sentence, he mentions that children take their parents as an example in terms of listening.
According to Thomas Gordon, children relax and lose their emotions, thanks to the guidance of the active listening parent, after expressing the emotions that bother them.
Ozlem – Inci Aktas
