The important thing is to direct the physical force, which creates aggressivity as the child develops and grows, to work that is beneficial to the society and the child, and to ensure that the child has behaviors in harmony with the society. For example, encouraging the child to play sports will help the aggressive impulses to be discharged.
First of all, children who show aggressivity should be approached with tolerance, the attitude of the parents towards the child should be positive, the child should be directed to areas such as sports and music, and it should be ensured that their aggressivity becomes beneficial. For example, having the child play an instrument or play on a football team, etc.
Since the child will take his mother and father as an example in his behavior, the mother and father should be an example to the child with their behaviors and attitudes. The child should not be subject to constant punishment and pressure, the freedom of the child should not be restricted, and should not be deprived of affection and compassion. However, excessive aggressive behaviors of the child should not be tolerated. If the child is accustomed to behaving aggressively and making his family requests, the family should not fulfill these requests of the child. The child’s aggressive behavior should not be rewarded and it should be shown immediately that this behavior of the child is undesirable.
A child’s aggressive behavior should never be punished with beatings. Although the beating seems to solve the problem at the moment, it causes hostile feelings in the child. When the parents’ interest and love decreases and the child is physically punished for a long time, his aggression increases, the child becomes a rebellious and irresponsible individual.
When the child exhibits aggressive behaviors, adults should be calm and express their discomfort to the child by using self-language instead of giving harsh and sudden reactions. For example, “I get upset when you fight like that.” The mother and father should express their feelings and thoughts against these behaviors of the child. When the child is angry and nervous, he should avoid arguing with him and wait for him to calm down, and talk about his behavior after the child has calmed down. In order for this behavior of the child to disappear, social responsibilities should be given to the child, the tasks that he / she can accomplish and the child must experience a sense of achievement.
The harm of aggressive behavior must be shown to the child. The child should see and live that by being aggressive, he cannot get what he wants or even loses what he wants.
Reinforce positive behavior: When the child acts positively or does not show aggression, her/his parents and the adults around her/him should reward her/him, and ignore her when she behaves negatively.The child should be allowed to play outside, so that he can discharge his energy and relieve his tension. As long as the child’s aggressive behavior does not threaten the safety of siblings or other children, these behaviors shouldn’t be overlooked.
Self-talk: If the child act impulsive in his / her aggressive behavior and has difficulty controlling it; At that moment, the child can be taught sentences to say to himself or to prevent. For example, “Before you hit someone else, stop and count from 1 to 10”.
The child should be prevented watching aggressive programs and broadcasts. If it cannot be prevented, the program should be watched with the child and the results of the violence should be discussed with the child. At the same time, it should be underlined that the violent events in the program are fictional and not real.
Various alternatives can be found to divert the child’s aggressive impulse to another area. Activities such as punching clay, pounding nails, drawing pictures, and painting can control the child’s feelings of anger. Sports such as football and basketball will also support the child in this regard. In addition to these, the basic needs of the child should be met in a timely manner, and it should be ensured that the child spends frequent time with his / her father.
Sedat Dortkardes
